Letter

[Crystal]

A little while ago my mom dropped by my apartment and gave me a letter that had been sent to my old house. That letter was from my ex-fiance, Trevor. He started off saying, "My Crys...." which immediately made me burst into tears. In such a short amount of time he meant the world to me. He wrote telling me he misses me, and he detailed all of the things that he misses about me, which are kind of hard to believe given our situation. He said that he's gotten back together with his old ex-girlfriend Allison, who had called a few days before our break-up telling me he still loved her. I was starting to think that he had been cheating on me with her before I got the letter. I've got some proof (he had a lot of odd jobs, he stayed out super late sometimes, she called us), but I'm not completely sure.

Trev also told me that being with Allison makes him want me even more. He said she doesn't fill the void that's been there since I'm gone. But he's the one that threw me out, so he makes no sense. If he still loves me then why did he tell me to go that day? We were fucking engaged.

I just don't know what to do. I'm pregnant and engaged to my best friend Kevin. I love him but I'm starting to miss Trevor. I know I'm an awful person, I know I shouldn't be thinking these things, but I can't help it. It feels like I've hit rock bottom and there's nothing left. I'm so confused. I don't know what the point of writing this topic was...I don't know if any of you have advice for me. I just don't know what to do. I feel like I should write him something back but if I did, I would probably end up saying things that would lead him on.

xoxo,
Crys

[Artemis]

I think you should stay with Kevin. You shouldn't ever go back out with ex boyfriends. It screws things up even more. You're pregnant and engaged to a wonderful guy. Maybe you should talk about this with Kev. See if he can help you out. Maybe these are just a few leftover feelings from your breakup with Trev. If I was in your situation, I would most definitely stay with Kev. I hope everything works out for you Crys. You deserve to be with someone who will take care of you the rest of your life, and that someone, I think, is Kev.

[Jessie]

I'm not the person to give you advice, but you need to know that you aren't a bad person. You can't help the way you feel.

[Crystal]

^ Thanks Jess. I just know I shouldn't feel this way. But I do.

And Meg...I know I should stay with Kev. We're about to start a family and a life together, there is no way that I could walk away from that, or do anything to mess it up. I'm just confused. I know I still have a lot of feelings for Trevor, and I don't know when they'll go away.

[gone_country]

well you were engaged to trevor and had strong feeling for him...it's not ever going to completley go away. but you've moved on with kevin, and he needs to move on to. basically...i think exactly what meg said. i hope you figure it all out because you deserve the best and to be happy, you really do.

[Crystal]

Thanks Mal. I don't think that Trevor has moved on yet, and I wonder when he will. He went back to one of his exes, so he's probably used to that. Maybe he doesn't realize what he did to hurt me so much.

[Artemis]

^Probably not. But he gave up a wonderful girl. Like Mal said, he needs to move on, just like you have.

[Tiffanie]

omg grrl im so so so sorry to hear that ..i didnt know all this was going on :( im sorry i wasnt there. ...but i think you should stay with Kevin because he loves u and he'll take care of you :) ...
but sheesh im still just so sorry cause i had no idea all this was going on :( it makes me so sad to hear this ...*hugs* i hope everything works out for you because you only deserve the best and nothing less ...

"always smile even when it hurts" love ya lots keep smilin k :) ..and im always here for you k ..whenever you need me just holler ^_^

[Crystal]

Thanks Meg, you're so sweet. And yes, he needs to move on. I'm thinking about writing him a letter back and telling him to move on and not to contact me again.

Tiff...thanks *hugs* I know, I'm going to stay with Kevin, I'm just upset.

[punkin_monkey]

Crys...this is what i think. Whenever I am in doubt this is what I do.

Never make a decision until you are sure....

1) Compare the way your life was and is with each situation.

2) You're not with Trevor..and you miss him but can you live without him? Or can you not live without Kevin.
Just think for a minute...you know what it's like not being with Trevor...but for one minute imagine your life without Kevin. What would it be like?

In my opinion that alone should give you a sense of what you want/need.

Good luck....*hugs*

[infamous]

^ whoa thats a tough questions but it does have to be answered. i understand that ur feelings are starting to remount again, its only obvious after trevor wrote that...but afterall when u take everything into perpesctive he did throw u out. it was his loss, he caused this himself...and u can' wait for him to move on in order for u to completely forget about the feelings....take everything at ur own pace and just remember that u got a great guy, kevin, to help you through this.

i hope things work out for u crys, u really deserve it to.

[Crystal]

Those questions made me think. I know that I can't live without Kevin, I have no idea what I would do without him, I don't even like thinking about the idea. I just miss the way that things used to be with Trevor, but I'm not going to go back to him. There's no way that I can after he kicked me out.

[AvrilandEvan22]

wow...i feel really sorry for you. I guess I'm not really the person to give you advice, you have to decide for yourself. Basically i agree with what everyone else said. If you still have feelings for Trevor but know you love Kevin, which is what it seems, just follow your heart and what you really want. And fate will bring you who is really meant for you

[Crystal]

^ I don't know if I believe in fate anymore.

[Da Boggsta]

well, you say you've hit rock bottom! That can only be a good thing, why? you may ask... Well, you cant get any lower, the only way is up :)

If you have any doubts about marryin this guy kevin, dont do it! You will regret it for the rest of your life!! you must be 110% commited to the relationship, marrage is for LIFE and not Christmas :)

As for this Trevor guy! Get rid, out of ur life hehe :P basically because i think that all ppl called Trevor are deceteful and un-kind! I hate them all! I know a few, oh yeah my boss is called Trevor :angry: Grrrr

[Crystal]

I have absolutely no doubts about marrying Kevin. I've known him for years and it's not possible for us to get any closer.

I agree, all Trevors should burn in hell. lol he's a jerk, I just can't seem to forget him.

[InspireMe]

Originally posted by Crystal@Oct 23 2003, 04:30 PM
I just miss the way that things used to be with Trevor
Just remember, Crystal... You can't have everything. There's always a sacrifice to be made for the good things. My dad said he regretted not staying with one of his girlfriends from many years ago, but he also said he'd never go back because then he wouldn't have my brother and me.

And why don't you believe in fate? Everything we do is fate... I see everything as inevitable. But still, you are the one deciding your fate, even though it is your fate to make the decisions. :D

[Crystal]

Originally posted by InspireMe@Oct 26 2003, 02:50 PM
You can't have everything. There's always a sacrifice to be made for the good things.
That's true. I've lost a lot of things and it ended up okay because of the things I have now. Like, I've been through some awful relationships, but it's okay because I'm with Kevin now and he's incredible.

[Da Boggsta]

Good news :)

remember harness good energy and block the bad :)

[punkin_monkey]

Originally posted by Crystal@Oct 24 2003, 04:25 PM
I have absolutely no doubts about marrying Kevin. I've known him for years and it's not possible for us to get any closer.

I agree, all Trevors should burn in hell. lol he's a jerk, I just can't seem to forget him.
My boyfriends little nephew's name is Trevor! :blink:
No...haha i know what you mean.

Don't rely on fate...rely on what is best for YOU! :D

[Crystal]

I used to love the name Trevor, even before I met him. It is a hot name, you know.

I never think about fate or destiny. It just seems like something you write songs about, not deal with in reality.

[AvrilandEvan22]

Well you stay with Kevin then!!!!!! You know you love him and not Trevor, but Trevor probably will come back to your mind sometimes. You'll get over it!!! And you'll be with the one guy you really love and want to commit your life to. But its your choice, whatever is best for YOU!!!!

[Crystal]

I'm definitely going to stay with Kevin. I know that without him, there wouldn't be much left in my world. I can't risk losing all of our memories.

[Da Boggsta]

you will never loose the memories :)

they will stay with you all ur life, good and bad :)

[Crystal]

That's true. Though I've got a lot of things that I would love to forget, I can't seem to.

[Da Boggsta]

the things you want to will go away eventually!! :)

[Crystal]

Really, because it sure doesn't seem that way...A lot of things happened months ago and I can't forget them.

[Da Boggsta]

im not talkin weeks or months, it could take years :) but they will slowly fade!