Opinions Please ~Punkgrrl~

[Tiffanie]

<span style='color:violet'>*This poem breaks my heart when i read it and when i think about it and it broke my heart to write so i hope you all enjoy it...and please give me your opinions..and please dont be mean cause what this is about is very sad for me...thanx so much*

"Uncontrtolable Pain"

Hurting down inside
Heart wanting to break and hide

Fear always on your mind
feelings like this are one of a kind

Tears always fill your eyes
but no one around can hear your cries

Days and days of uncontrolable pain
so much built up, it drives you insane

Your feeling so lost and confused
your head full, your heart so abused

Your life seems so worthless
Everything is just one big mess

Will the pain ever end
Will your heart ever mend

I see you cry
And i understand why

Im here to help you
Helping you is what im going to do

It hurts me to see you so sad
I always feel so bad

On your saddest days
Know that im here for you always

~September 12 2002~</span>

[Drew]

That is absolutely beautiful. I could really feel the poem when i was reading it.

you have an imense talent :)

[narrator]

Wow praise from Drew...

[punkLECH]

I can really tell you invested a lot emotionally into the poem. That's true most of the time with anyone who write poems of this nature. It's an outlet.

However, one of the problems with most new poets is that they often fall victim to cliche in their writings. I've studied many forms of poetry, and without getting on a high horse here (hey, another cliche), I will say that I could type up a rather scathing, yet constructive review. The only issue I have here is that I might end up offending you or someone else, so I'll just leave it at that.

[Tiffanie]

well thanx everyone..and to punklech...well everyone tells me all the time that there is something wrong with my poems and that there is a way to make them better and stuff..but i just dont listen to them because my poems are ME and if i change them like everyone says to than they woudnt be me ne more and what good would that be...and im not trying to be the greatest poet or ne thing...i just write out my feelings because its the only thing that i know how to so with them...but than again

~Tiffany~

[punkLECH]

Totally valid point, and more power to you, Tiffany. Just thought I'd lend my $.02

[narrator]

I would love to be unapreciated in my own time

[BlueStar]

I like this poem. :yes: