Future

[Amanda]

Well lately I have been hearing about going off to College from my lovely guidance counselor at school. It’s like they throw it in your face it’s time to grow up and get out of here now kids. Well Im kinda scared and not sure what’s bound to happen to me. Im in a relationship with a wonderful guy I mean wonderful he would do anything for me. I was kinda scared of growing up going off to College and wondering what happends to us. I have been dating him for about a year and almost 3 months to be exact and I know it comes with being a girl but he does mean the world to me and I would like to keep him and make a future with him. I was talking to him tonight while he was over and asked him what he is doing after graduation which he finally stat down and told me he would be taking a year off. This I would say would be a plus for me because I have no idea what I wanna do with my life. I know all I wanna do is be with him.. Im so love struck hehe. As I kept talking to him I told him weather or not I end up going to College I wanted to move out with him but he did not really give me a straight answer right away so knowing me I was crying and got really scared. I was asking myself what do you mean? one section your talking about marriage and children. He was just thinking about money and living expenses then actually us at that moment so I know I can give the guy a break. He did give me good confidence that him and I will be together and maybe one day take that step to move into together which would be really great. All my little girl dreams come true. My bf actually pinky swared me ( I used to do this a lot when I was a little girl) and promised me he would. I love him so much and he is so much apart of me. If there was not a him there would be no me that’s how much I care.


So end of my little sorry I just need some of your feed back to my situation put me in your shoes and tell me what I should be facing in the “College” Years to come. I know not all couples work out when going off to College so that’s what I was scared of also but right now im drawing a complete blank.

[Martine]

Ooh...taking a "year off" always turns into a couple years and a baby. I can't take a year off, because I don't think I have the determination to go back to school after making so much money working. That's just my thoughts.

As for your guy, I can't help ya. I'm hopeless when it comes to such things.

[Amanda]

I think your right with the baby part it happens alot. You know how some people have baby's to try to help situations. I always wanted just to have one to help mine but I know it would be wrong. I even talked to my bf about this one also. He knows alot about my past how I did not grow up with a father. He told me that he would never leave if that happend. I would not just have one for no reason so don't worry. I just thought about it..

[Da Boggsta]

I agree with martini! To take a year off is great sounding, but if your just going to sat in ur home town then its a bad idea! You will get yourself into a routine and rightly so earn some money! Ask yourself could you live again with no money?

My friends have done this in the past and yes, never went back to uni! I took a year out, but i did something really different! i worked my way across New Zealand and Australia for the year! for me that was something completely different and i wasnt doing the same old job in a rountined week! My belief is: only if you break away from the norm can a gap year work out!

Right now for ur fella! From what you wrote, it seems that ur putting pressure on him to take the relationship that 1 step further ie, moving in together! I can understand his doubts! its not that he doesnt love ya its just he's thinking of the financial implications! Your both young, (if ur both working and doing school) your taking in a school workers wage! not great money! If you start uni, how can you afford ur course and rent, food etc! That my dear needs a few more years planning!

I know what your saying about alot of relationships break off at uni, think about why this happens?

School and uni are totally different places to be at! At school your encouraged to do work, at uni its ur decision if you do it or not! Your are dependable to no one at uni! Its all off your own back! So enevitably (sp?) it makes u grow up alot quicker, makes u mature and think differently, it prepaires you for the life thereafter, work / social etc! You will change uncontrollably, people close to you will change and differ as the adult maturity rises from you! You may find that you grow appart from the closest of friends, find your own feet so to speak! What im gettin at is that you will be a different person from when you went to college and when you emerge with that scroll! So my point is with ur b/f you might hate him with a passion in 2 years time because you have grown appart! so dont try and plan your future at such an early stage! I am saying this from experience! I have been there and done that! i still wear the dammed T-shirt!

Take each day as it comes, week by week, month by month, and then see what happens after you finish college :)

[Amanda]

^ awe thanks hugs!
thats my motto also.. I do take each day as it comes

[Rinoa]

I think if you are able, go to college, it's hard to leave the one you love, but you should think about yourself, maybe now you two think you will be together forever, but for the same you will brake up within months.
Think about your own future and not about that for you two, because it's your life. And remember also, love can conquer all even college

[Da Boggsta]

Originally posted by punkprincess1001@Nov 27 2003, 07:12 AM
^ awe thanks hugs!
thats my motto also.. I do take each day as it comes
hehehe :hug:

man i went on a bit there :o

think that was first thing i did this morn when i got in work!! hahaha :D

[InspireMe]

Here's what I think... Don't let them tell you that college is more important than love. I think love is the most important thing in life! I do plan to go to college myself, but I would compromise to keep the love that I have. Of course people change, but you can't really say "Oh, this happened to a couple of people I know, so it'll probably happen to me, too." You can't even be prepared for that... All you know is the love you have right now.

I do think your boyfriend is right to worry first about money and living expenses before worrying about having babies. You need to build a strong foundation before you decide to have a baby.

But I'm not quite clear on this... How long is it until each of you graduate? Are you both graduating at the same time?

[Amanda]

yes we are, we are both in gr 12 this year and it is our last

[InspireMe]

Ah, I see... Do you both know what college you're going to? I think it would be possible to maintain a distance relationship only if both of you are the kind of people who can handle that... only for so long, of course. Well, at least I think the internet is a good way to do that. But you're still risking a lot if you go different ways. The only thing I can think of at the moment is that you try to get into the same college or colleges that aren't so far from each other, but that's the compromise... I'll keep thinking on it.

[Amanda]

We both actually go to different schools now here where we live and we always see eachother on the weekends since we works so much. It's rare when I actually see him on the week days. If I do end up going to College in a year (we are both taking a year off for shure) then we would be going to the same College. If I don't end up going then I want him too since I wont be standing in frount of his dream and we have decided that I'll move down also where he is going to College with him.

[punkin_monkey]

wait...hold on....slooooooow down!!
This is your future we're talking about.
Both with love and college.
If you plan to go to college taking a year off is a BAD idea. My brother and about 18 more people i know did and they have no gone back because they have gotten out of th cycle.

Love IS important....but that doesn't mean that you can't go to college just because of your boyfriend. I have a boi in another state while im here in college and he is there in college. Long distance relationships work. Whoever says they dont are WRONG!! If you love eachother enough then they WILL work. I know for a fact.

College is VERY important. Don't sacrifice it just because of being together...it can still be there if ur in college. Now a days it is so hard to get a good paying job without the college degrees.

Seriously...think about this more before you make any drastic decisions. This is about you. If he loves you...it WILL work. just think about it!!!

[Crystal]

I think it's really sweet that your boyfriend promised you that you're going to move in together...and you two sound absolutely adorable, but you can't promise that you'll stay together, can you? What if something happens? You don't want to not apply to college and base your future on him, because you can't always rely on guys. Think about yourself and I'm sure that if it's meant to be, you'll be able to stay with him.

[Amanda]

Originally posted by Crystal@Dec 16 2003, 10:24 PM
you two sound absolutely adorable
aww thanks crys ...


well latly it seems like any Scenario (sp?) of live for us we are coming across so im just going to take things day by day and see what happens .. I’ll try not to get ahead of myself <_< lol

[IwAnTuAnDuWaNtMe2]

yea i took a year off after highschool and i'm sitting here with a high paying dead end job. i planned on goin back but being out of school for a year you just don't want to go back. but i will force myself to because i don't want this job even though it pays well.

[Amanda]

I have seen both sides of the fence .. taking a year off / going right away .. you get a ton of advice ( thank you btw..) pilled on you but I guess life will steer you into the direction thats ment to be altough you look at it now that it may not get you anywhere but there is always a bend in the road that you don't and never will suspect that will make life better sweet

[Crystal]

Yeah, or sometimes things just happen and they suck and you can't fix it.

[Rinoa]

Sometimes things happen you don't expect and makes your life so much better, even when you think at first it is making it worse

[Amanda]

^ see crys think positive .. thank you rinoa for supporting me

[IwAnTuAnDuWaNtMe2]

Originally posted by Crystal@Dec 22 2003, 11:24 AM
Yeah, or sometimes things just happen and they suck and you can't fix it.
everything happens for a reason whether you can "fix" it or not. it's those bad bumps in the road that make you a better person. and sometimes that's all we are put on this earth for is to push someone in the right direction. someone you shook(sp) hands with maybecome the next president or somebody famous because that handshake ment something to him or her. life is mysterious and you can spend your entire lifetime searching for an answer but you won't find an answer because it cannot be answered.sure people say life sucks there's nothign you can do about it... that may be true but that's not an answer that's an excuse. liufe your life as if each day were your last and chereish your memories while you still have memories or a memory at all.

[Rinoa]

I think most of the members here are younger then 20 or even 18, you still got so much time. One day you wake up and see your happy.

[IwAnTuAnDuWaNtMe2]

yea but they don't kno how much time they have. they don't realize it's just the begining and that there is a whole world out there.

[Rinoa]

maybe, but they can start realise

[Crystal]

I'm 18. I know that I've got my whole life ahead of me, but sometimes the future freaks me out. I'm not afraid to admit that.

[Amanda]

" life is mysterious and you can spend your entire lifetime searching for an answer but you won't find an answer because it cannot be answered "

.. I like the way you put that. Well im only 17 but I feel i am pretty mature for my age but I do know there is a life ahead of me that is just waiting for me. I wish I could see into my future since I can't wait anymore lol but I guess I'll play by the rules and take life day by day. I don't wanna miss out on the good things and I wanna actually live a great life and have a love. LoL yeah anyways .. altough im pretty young worrying about boyfriends now I do know they come and go but I finally found a good one so I hope he stays around awhile.

[IwAnTuAnDuWaNtMe2]

^thnx that just came off the top of head :P

and yea everyone wants that at some point or another.
i have seen my future... quite pleasent one too :D