Nan

[**Allison~]

I don't know if this goes in here but to hell with it.

When someone close to you dies, how do you like, well, get over it? I mean, I know you never get over the death of someone but how do you like get your life back to normal as possible?

[Heather Lovelace]

...well i still havnt really got over my dad. And itz totally changed me. I mean, i was only 6 at the time...

[KiD]

well, you probably be crying for a while, I know I did, and then you sorta be like, thankful you knew them, then youll think why;d they have to die..I guess. And one thing I''ve done it go through a thought process that leaves me crying...and well, I havnt fully gotten over my grandpa, which was almost seven months ago, so it'll take a while.

i'm sorry to hear the news :hug:

[TelescopeEyes]

People say time will heal, but you'll never get over the lose of a loved one, you'll grieve ... you know just a period where you'll find yourself constantly thinking about them adnd crying and wanting them back and so forth and then you'll find that the grieving get's eases off and you start to look forward but there will mostly always be a moment where they'll creep in to your mind weeks, months, years down the line and it will all come flooding back to you and you may cry and feel sad, but then as the days go on you just live your life and eventually deal with it better and you'll soon see that things are getting back to normal....

[narrator]

Everyone deals with it in their own way, and the only real way I've been able to do it is forgetting. As time goes on things fade whether you want them to or not. You can go the fool's route and suppress the feelings but it doesn't work.

It's like swimming. Some people can, some people can't. But eventually we all learn how to tread water, if just enough to get you out of the sadness. Life is about harsh things, but you've got to learn to take the good with the bad. Things don't get any easier. Sometimes sadness is the only way you know when you're happy.

[AjaXXX_Boy]

aside from the swimming analogy that i don't get because i'm dumb, he's right.

everyone will probably tell you 'it'll take time.' when my sister died i thought that was bullshit, that i'd never get over it. i still don't think i'm 'over' it (it's been 3 years), because i still think about her all the time, but i've found ways of dealing with it, some better than others. it hurts like hell at first, and that never entirely goes away, but it gets easier and you learn to live with it.

[InspireMe]

I completely agree, narrator. Completely.

When my dad died, I was like: "Dad, I'll be thinking of you every day of the rest of my life!" and believed I'd never get over it. Well, I don't think of him every single day anymore, after nearly two years. Yeah, there are times when I momentarily feel the pain well up again or when I just have to sit and remember and think that he's still with me, but for the big picture, I have gotten over his death... That started from being honest with myself. I realized that I was suppressing some memories about him, but now that I have confronted them, it's easy to forget, like narrator said. I think that losing him has made me stronger... I don't any longer expect life to be greater than it is. Life isn't so disappointing for me, now that I have so few expectations but enough to be comfortable.

I think the key to getting over it is to stop conforming to society which tells you never to get over it. I'm not telling you that you should or not... I went long enough in conformity to know that it worked out better for me to spend some time in despair, slowly building my own backbone (which my dad sort of was for me when he lived)... till I was ready and had found someone else who I love even more.

[Rinoa]

For me, when I lost a friend, I completly turned to school work at first, but then the mother of the girl asked to look over her best friend, which I already did alot with and I did, it helped me to help her.

But like narrator said, it's different for everyone and you have to find your own way

[Pinky]

Originally posted by get_over_it@Jan 9 2004, 02:16 PM
I don't know if this goes in here but to hell with it.

When someone close to you dies, how do you like, well, get over it? I mean, I know you never get over the death of someone but how do you like get your life back to normal as possible?
You dont. You simply dont just get over it and life just seems better one day. My mom died of cancer when I was 12 and I still friggin cry over it at night and I'm gonna be friggin 18 o_O

The thing is it changes for everyone. Maybe you'll hear faster then someone else.. maybe you wont. Maybe you'll stay depressed for the rest of your life... but you just dont get over it. Its just.. not possible. You cant wake up one day and forget about it and say life is all happy and perks.

You just gotta learn to take the good with the bad.

[Rinoa]

I'm happy with live, but yeah I still miss the girl and even sometimes I wish I was the one who died, she was really loved, more then I ever will I think

[Da Boggsta]

i havent had much experience with a close death, all my grandparents died when i was young so, i dont remember them that well. The only time death has caused me to greave is when two of my best friends died, 3 yrs appart, the last 1 being in oct last year 3 days before his 22nd birthday! i am still mourning the death of rob from 3 yrs ago! like the above has said you cant get on with it, but you will start to fit back into a routine again. Just think that when something good happens to you or it suddenly becomes sunny on a cold miserable day, then thats them lookin down at me, cheering me up!!!

If u need to talk ally u know where to find me :)

[**Allison~]

Thanks everyone for your help. :hug:

I'm trying not to think about her as much as it just makes me want to cry. But I've been doing sponsored things to help research for cancer and stuff. :)

[KiD]

Thats really good of you.

When my grandpa died, people made donations to the Cancer society, and to the hospital he was in, and that was really cool. Cancer sucks.

[InspireMe]

The best people go first. :(

[AjaXXX_Boy]

Originally posted by InspireMe@Jan 15 2004, 05:27 PM
The best people go first. :(
that and 'the good always die young' (basically the same saying) are the two things that probably piss me off the most in the world. is that supposed to make... anything... better? the person's still gone. plus, you didn't die young -- you must not be a good person. (mainly applies in my situation where my sister was six when she died and i was fifteen.)

[narrator]

It's conversational padding. It means nothing, don't take it seriously; calm down.

[InspireMe]

I am still young, for your info, AjaXXX, and I'm not judging myself.

[narrator]

Young is a state of mind, not an age. I don't think you're young at all.

[InspireMe]

Right... But when I said the best people go first, I meant physically. :P

[narrator]

I should hope to die soon then....

[InspireMe]

No, you should hope to live for a VEEERY long time. :D

[narrator]

you're a romantic at heart...at the very least an ignorant one. But hey, I've always got a gun, so that I can make myself good all over the shag carpeting.

[InspireMe]

Ah, you do that. Suicide is merely sacrificing yourself to God in Jesus' footsteps. :P

[Da Boggsta]

^ is it bollocks <_<