narrator
10-13-2002, 12:13 PM
Heres everything that I just sent to Punkgrrl2002 but I figured you guys might wanna take a look at them too so, here they are...they're actually more but I sent them on the TJF forums and they were *gone*
Here they are:
April
I supply my own disease
A cold sweat when I play it
Then in the prayer position on my knees
I can’t wait for you to display it
Refer to it as a broken cause, why not
Act like the first note didn’t make me pause, of course not
These things are just skin deep
They can’t change the way I live my life
But why then do they, always seem to keep
Me in a cage with the undercurrent of pain rife
It’s that time of year again
The time when I get interested, disinterested
In everything that you do
When my time has too much to fend
Off this purpose denial
I’ll just lie here for a while
You see I try to hide it all
But I also try to show it all
It’s a disease that won’t go away when you go
It just changes to another purpose to chase, another “no”
So then why couldn’t this one work
Why couldn’t I just be a jerk
And forget about it
Write you off like I don’t care
Pretend I can just tell everyone what’s fair
How many times has it been this time
How many days has it been this way
How many years have I been sitting here
In the same month
In the same year
In the same time
With the same fears
Maybe this time it’s different
Maybe you can make it stop
Perhaps you won’t be indifferent
Perhaps you won’t let me drop
But that’s all just what I want, that’s everything that I wish
It’s all the things that haunt’s me when I just need to turn off the switch
The 4-Letter Way To Ruin Your Life
Insert opinion
contradiction can't begin
What's left to change, you know you can't win
win me
over and bring me down
The longer I wait, I don't wait around
Last chance
What's wrong with me?
Making jokes
This can't possibly be me
Hate?
What did you think it was
What do you think it does
Sate?
You know that's all we've been waiting for
Another show that can keep score
Last chance
Download some love to see me care
Making jokes
Try it with some taste and we'll see you fare
Your stance
Not to deal with me
Another chance
Is all that you'll ever need
Insert opinion
Don't inject attention
At every concept of invention
Win me
Luck just what to do
To take it down a notch or two
You're not always right
(don't ask the same questions all over again)
You're not always right
(then you ask what happened to your friend)
You're not always right
(It's just another thing for you to pretend)
When everything you said
Only led to another fight
Last chance
To deal with me
Another chance
Is all you need
Your stance
Tell me whats wrong with me
Making jokes
This can't possibly be me
The worst thing another word inside your head
(You're not always right)
To repeat the same thing that you never said
(I'm not always right)
just me and "its always fine"
(We're never right)
But that one word that will always be mine
(Let's call this just another fight)
(You're not always right)
(I'm not always right)
(We're never right)
Kid Inside
When I grow up
I think I’ll fix all the things I did wrong
And when I grow up
I think I’ll get smart and be strong
Sometimes it doesn’t seem to matter
If I’m old or if I’m young
I’m just treated like the latter
Whether or not if I want to be one
Kid Inside
That little kid that wants to hide
From all the mistakes that I make
All the things I can’t take
But it’s the only thing that keeps me down
So I don’t get too high and think I need a crown
To all the friends I thought I had
To all the ones I’ll never have
It’s just about having fun
And getting absolutely nothing done
Last year I was a kid
But I wasn’t one back then
The year before that I was a kid
Never was a kid back then
Only a little time before this
Not right now
Never was one before this
And never right now
Kid Inside
That little kid that wants to hide
From all the mistakes that I make
My nightmares when I wake
But he’s the only thing I have to understand
What it could ever be like to be a man
No, I’m not a…
No, I’m not a…
No, I’m not a…
No, I’m not a…kid!
It’s so stupid
I’m just a kid
Consensual Compliments
A word; three and three half’s of broken meaning
It used to be, at first but then
One third; them and me but they were fleeting
Fast or first chosen bait
To lose or to use you just can't wait
Sometimes defeat isn't met or let
Lost or lost, which is a worse fate
Let me count the ways I survive
Suffice to say it’s by one word
One look, one compliment, something inferred
Form together, talk it out
Is it cool, is it cruel
Spout a phrase I heard one thousand times
A memory, a harmony, a forced content by lines
Validate my existence with a drop
Supplement my sustenance or stop
Trite layered passion without focus or gain
Despite a lack of defense they manage to maintain
Win to lose just another "or" without recess
Sin and forgive and then repeat the process
Compliment and wait for your pay
That's how it works
That is the only reason to say
That it could work
That tomorrow we’ll meet again here
If only out of fear
Let Down Scene
Motivation called it quits
Now participation only comes in fits
Your life - your game - to me it all sounds the same
Lean on defeat as a prop
At least you tried so now you can stop
It wasn't worth it
'Cause you won't ever get it
Depreciating minds
How many times, does it take to learn
The same damn word
Over and over
Again and again, with no end
They just say "no"
A choice, a power exerted, manipulation for benifits
They always let you know
When they think you aren't good enough for it
But then they say
That you can acheive anything
But maybe some other day
Not today
You're not good enough now
Maybe another four years and then you'll learn how
Permanent Misunderstanding
Two types one past
It doesn’t look like it’ll last
They can’t think of the other as themselves
Just a part of their world that’s a part of no one else
Fast but too slow to show
That it was meant to take you out
To take you down
I know how it sounds
But they say it’ll be better this way
This way you can play another day
Finish what I wrote
You don’t understand that note
It’s all just another thing you think that will fade
Another thing you think that you can write off
Well it’s me
Not some boring movie
Not another needless drive
Not another worthless class
Just fragile in your opaque eyes
It took a while for you to take my cries
There was a time when I thought that they could
There was a time when I thought that they should
But now I know that it’s isn’t the things that they took or take
It can’t be the things that we all mistake
Inner reflections on cold hard eyes
But you only see someone else’s lies
Two types one last
It doesn’t look like they’ll get past
He can’t think of it as another time
They can’t take a fit as another line
Just one more and then I’ll be fine
“I don’t get it”
What did it take you to think that up?
Was the designation good or bad?
You want this alienation, I don’t care
This indefinable but erasable line had nothing to share
For you I’ve decided that we can never be a pair
‘Cause you don’t get me
And I’ll never get you
Longevity
Pending this apology
You'll use me as an analogy
Leave me laughing, calling, falling
Unable to proceed
Forget the pairs that were exchanged
Forget the times I thought you had changed
If I could forget what we did
Then maybe this wouldn't be failing imparted
Take the fall I never could understand at all
Why you would yell and scream about what always seems
To become me
But at the end of the day
We always find another way
To stretch our own beliefs
To make just one more end meet
A lie
I live by
If I always took too much time
You turn around and say it was fine
But after we believe its all been true
This time again it is never new
Act like this
Make your views come to insist
After tendencies begin to fail
And our arguements become stale
We'll work it out
No matter how much we both want out
So umm yeah...I bet nobody read em all...
Here they are:
April
I supply my own disease
A cold sweat when I play it
Then in the prayer position on my knees
I can’t wait for you to display it
Refer to it as a broken cause, why not
Act like the first note didn’t make me pause, of course not
These things are just skin deep
They can’t change the way I live my life
But why then do they, always seem to keep
Me in a cage with the undercurrent of pain rife
It’s that time of year again
The time when I get interested, disinterested
In everything that you do
When my time has too much to fend
Off this purpose denial
I’ll just lie here for a while
You see I try to hide it all
But I also try to show it all
It’s a disease that won’t go away when you go
It just changes to another purpose to chase, another “no”
So then why couldn’t this one work
Why couldn’t I just be a jerk
And forget about it
Write you off like I don’t care
Pretend I can just tell everyone what’s fair
How many times has it been this time
How many days has it been this way
How many years have I been sitting here
In the same month
In the same year
In the same time
With the same fears
Maybe this time it’s different
Maybe you can make it stop
Perhaps you won’t be indifferent
Perhaps you won’t let me drop
But that’s all just what I want, that’s everything that I wish
It’s all the things that haunt’s me when I just need to turn off the switch
The 4-Letter Way To Ruin Your Life
Insert opinion
contradiction can't begin
What's left to change, you know you can't win
win me
over and bring me down
The longer I wait, I don't wait around
Last chance
What's wrong with me?
Making jokes
This can't possibly be me
Hate?
What did you think it was
What do you think it does
Sate?
You know that's all we've been waiting for
Another show that can keep score
Last chance
Download some love to see me care
Making jokes
Try it with some taste and we'll see you fare
Your stance
Not to deal with me
Another chance
Is all that you'll ever need
Insert opinion
Don't inject attention
At every concept of invention
Win me
Luck just what to do
To take it down a notch or two
You're not always right
(don't ask the same questions all over again)
You're not always right
(then you ask what happened to your friend)
You're not always right
(It's just another thing for you to pretend)
When everything you said
Only led to another fight
Last chance
To deal with me
Another chance
Is all you need
Your stance
Tell me whats wrong with me
Making jokes
This can't possibly be me
The worst thing another word inside your head
(You're not always right)
To repeat the same thing that you never said
(I'm not always right)
just me and "its always fine"
(We're never right)
But that one word that will always be mine
(Let's call this just another fight)
(You're not always right)
(I'm not always right)
(We're never right)
Kid Inside
When I grow up
I think I’ll fix all the things I did wrong
And when I grow up
I think I’ll get smart and be strong
Sometimes it doesn’t seem to matter
If I’m old or if I’m young
I’m just treated like the latter
Whether or not if I want to be one
Kid Inside
That little kid that wants to hide
From all the mistakes that I make
All the things I can’t take
But it’s the only thing that keeps me down
So I don’t get too high and think I need a crown
To all the friends I thought I had
To all the ones I’ll never have
It’s just about having fun
And getting absolutely nothing done
Last year I was a kid
But I wasn’t one back then
The year before that I was a kid
Never was a kid back then
Only a little time before this
Not right now
Never was one before this
And never right now
Kid Inside
That little kid that wants to hide
From all the mistakes that I make
My nightmares when I wake
But he’s the only thing I have to understand
What it could ever be like to be a man
No, I’m not a…
No, I’m not a…
No, I’m not a…
No, I’m not a…kid!
It’s so stupid
I’m just a kid
Consensual Compliments
A word; three and three half’s of broken meaning
It used to be, at first but then
One third; them and me but they were fleeting
Fast or first chosen bait
To lose or to use you just can't wait
Sometimes defeat isn't met or let
Lost or lost, which is a worse fate
Let me count the ways I survive
Suffice to say it’s by one word
One look, one compliment, something inferred
Form together, talk it out
Is it cool, is it cruel
Spout a phrase I heard one thousand times
A memory, a harmony, a forced content by lines
Validate my existence with a drop
Supplement my sustenance or stop
Trite layered passion without focus or gain
Despite a lack of defense they manage to maintain
Win to lose just another "or" without recess
Sin and forgive and then repeat the process
Compliment and wait for your pay
That's how it works
That is the only reason to say
That it could work
That tomorrow we’ll meet again here
If only out of fear
Let Down Scene
Motivation called it quits
Now participation only comes in fits
Your life - your game - to me it all sounds the same
Lean on defeat as a prop
At least you tried so now you can stop
It wasn't worth it
'Cause you won't ever get it
Depreciating minds
How many times, does it take to learn
The same damn word
Over and over
Again and again, with no end
They just say "no"
A choice, a power exerted, manipulation for benifits
They always let you know
When they think you aren't good enough for it
But then they say
That you can acheive anything
But maybe some other day
Not today
You're not good enough now
Maybe another four years and then you'll learn how
Permanent Misunderstanding
Two types one past
It doesn’t look like it’ll last
They can’t think of the other as themselves
Just a part of their world that’s a part of no one else
Fast but too slow to show
That it was meant to take you out
To take you down
I know how it sounds
But they say it’ll be better this way
This way you can play another day
Finish what I wrote
You don’t understand that note
It’s all just another thing you think that will fade
Another thing you think that you can write off
Well it’s me
Not some boring movie
Not another needless drive
Not another worthless class
Just fragile in your opaque eyes
It took a while for you to take my cries
There was a time when I thought that they could
There was a time when I thought that they should
But now I know that it’s isn’t the things that they took or take
It can’t be the things that we all mistake
Inner reflections on cold hard eyes
But you only see someone else’s lies
Two types one last
It doesn’t look like they’ll get past
He can’t think of it as another time
They can’t take a fit as another line
Just one more and then I’ll be fine
“I don’t get it”
What did it take you to think that up?
Was the designation good or bad?
You want this alienation, I don’t care
This indefinable but erasable line had nothing to share
For you I’ve decided that we can never be a pair
‘Cause you don’t get me
And I’ll never get you
Longevity
Pending this apology
You'll use me as an analogy
Leave me laughing, calling, falling
Unable to proceed
Forget the pairs that were exchanged
Forget the times I thought you had changed
If I could forget what we did
Then maybe this wouldn't be failing imparted
Take the fall I never could understand at all
Why you would yell and scream about what always seems
To become me
But at the end of the day
We always find another way
To stretch our own beliefs
To make just one more end meet
A lie
I live by
If I always took too much time
You turn around and say it was fine
But after we believe its all been true
This time again it is never new
Act like this
Make your views come to insist
After tendencies begin to fail
And our arguements become stale
We'll work it out
No matter how much we both want out
So umm yeah...I bet nobody read em all...