Jessie
04-11-2004, 02:20 AM
This isn't a fan fic, it's just a short story, but this is where I feel most comfortable posting it, so Meg, please don't move it. Well I think it's pretty sucky, I really hate the ending, but I hope yall like it.
Alexis' Story
I’m sick of all the fake shit in the world today. I’m sick of putting up a front so people can’t see the real me. My name is Alexis Brower and let me brake down my life for you.
I’m an 18 year old, whit, middle class chick. I have a mom, that never stops nagging, a dad, that is a total jerk and I hate to be around, a brother, who never stops making fun of me, and a dog, that hates me. I was a happy kid, then I started to gain weight. I wasn’t content with my life, so I ate and ate and ate, and tried to fill this empty hole that I felt deep inside of myself. It wasn’t until I turned 14 that I realized eating wasn’t going to fill that void.
Of course, by then everything had spiraled out of control. I was forty pounds over weight, I was a cutter, I had attempted suicide four times, all unsuccessful. But soon after my fourth failed suicide attempt I finally realized that it wasn’t that I wanted to die, it was that I had nothing to live for. I knew things had to change, unfortunately I tried to change them in all the wrong ways.
In order to lose the weight I had gained I just stopped eating. Big mistake. Eventually I got so underweight and malnourished that I had to be rushed to the hospital one night after trying to stand up, and passing out. I had to be fed through a tube for three weeks, then I was forced to eat on my own. It was so hard because my stomach had shrunk so much I couldn’t even eat a cracker without throwing it up.
After I got out of the hospital and I finally started eating again I seemed to have fallen in with the wrong crowed. I partied all the time, I drank, I smoked, and I did every drug you could ever think of. Of course it all came crashing to an end one night when I out did myself and had to be rushed to the hospital and have my stomach pumped. After that I was sent to rehab.
Rehab was a terrible place. It reminded me a bit of school. Everyone had their own groups. There was the rich kids, the Goths, the skaters, the freaks, and the loners. I was always a loner. No one would accept me into their group, which was fine. But in the middle of the night when someone was freaking out because they couldn’t shoot up, and you didn’t have a group behind you, it was your ass getting kicked.
One night a girl who was going through cocaine withdrawal was having a bad night and I said hello. That was just enough to send her over the edge. She beat the shit out of me and ended up breaking three of my very brittle bones. Once again I was rushed to the hospital.
When my mom came to see me at the hospital I found out that dad left her. I wasn’t surprised. Ever since I knew what love was all about I knew that he would be leaving. I knew he never really loved my mom. Apparently mom wasn’t going to let it get to her though. She already had a new boyfriend.
His name was Nick. He wasn’t bad looking for a man his age. He was always so nice to me. We would sit out on the porch and smoke together once in a while. He would always listen to what I had to say. He would even tuck me in at night, something my own father never did.
Then it happened. One night before he tucked me in, he started to touch me…I knew he was molesting me, but I didn’t put up a fight. I knew that mom really liked him, and he was supporting us. I know now that I shouldn’t have let him, that things would only get worse from there, but I didn’t want to be the one to screw up our now family and our new found happiness. Well one thing led to another and he and I ended up going all the way. I can’t wait to tell my husband that I’m not a virgin because I didn’t want to make my mother unhappy.
Now I realize that after everything that has happened to me I’m a strong person. Of course, I may never have children, my bones are extremely brittle, I will always have trouble building muscle, every day of my life I’ll look in the mirror and think I’m fat, and everyday I have to accept the fact that I let my moms boyfriend rape me, none of that can bring me down. I’m a new person now. I’m my own person, and I will be normal again…if it takes me the rest of my life.
Alexis' Story
I’m sick of all the fake shit in the world today. I’m sick of putting up a front so people can’t see the real me. My name is Alexis Brower and let me brake down my life for you.
I’m an 18 year old, whit, middle class chick. I have a mom, that never stops nagging, a dad, that is a total jerk and I hate to be around, a brother, who never stops making fun of me, and a dog, that hates me. I was a happy kid, then I started to gain weight. I wasn’t content with my life, so I ate and ate and ate, and tried to fill this empty hole that I felt deep inside of myself. It wasn’t until I turned 14 that I realized eating wasn’t going to fill that void.
Of course, by then everything had spiraled out of control. I was forty pounds over weight, I was a cutter, I had attempted suicide four times, all unsuccessful. But soon after my fourth failed suicide attempt I finally realized that it wasn’t that I wanted to die, it was that I had nothing to live for. I knew things had to change, unfortunately I tried to change them in all the wrong ways.
In order to lose the weight I had gained I just stopped eating. Big mistake. Eventually I got so underweight and malnourished that I had to be rushed to the hospital one night after trying to stand up, and passing out. I had to be fed through a tube for three weeks, then I was forced to eat on my own. It was so hard because my stomach had shrunk so much I couldn’t even eat a cracker without throwing it up.
After I got out of the hospital and I finally started eating again I seemed to have fallen in with the wrong crowed. I partied all the time, I drank, I smoked, and I did every drug you could ever think of. Of course it all came crashing to an end one night when I out did myself and had to be rushed to the hospital and have my stomach pumped. After that I was sent to rehab.
Rehab was a terrible place. It reminded me a bit of school. Everyone had their own groups. There was the rich kids, the Goths, the skaters, the freaks, and the loners. I was always a loner. No one would accept me into their group, which was fine. But in the middle of the night when someone was freaking out because they couldn’t shoot up, and you didn’t have a group behind you, it was your ass getting kicked.
One night a girl who was going through cocaine withdrawal was having a bad night and I said hello. That was just enough to send her over the edge. She beat the shit out of me and ended up breaking three of my very brittle bones. Once again I was rushed to the hospital.
When my mom came to see me at the hospital I found out that dad left her. I wasn’t surprised. Ever since I knew what love was all about I knew that he would be leaving. I knew he never really loved my mom. Apparently mom wasn’t going to let it get to her though. She already had a new boyfriend.
His name was Nick. He wasn’t bad looking for a man his age. He was always so nice to me. We would sit out on the porch and smoke together once in a while. He would always listen to what I had to say. He would even tuck me in at night, something my own father never did.
Then it happened. One night before he tucked me in, he started to touch me…I knew he was molesting me, but I didn’t put up a fight. I knew that mom really liked him, and he was supporting us. I know now that I shouldn’t have let him, that things would only get worse from there, but I didn’t want to be the one to screw up our now family and our new found happiness. Well one thing led to another and he and I ended up going all the way. I can’t wait to tell my husband that I’m not a virgin because I didn’t want to make my mother unhappy.
Now I realize that after everything that has happened to me I’m a strong person. Of course, I may never have children, my bones are extremely brittle, I will always have trouble building muscle, every day of my life I’ll look in the mirror and think I’m fat, and everyday I have to accept the fact that I let my moms boyfriend rape me, none of that can bring me down. I’m a new person now. I’m my own person, and I will be normal again…if it takes me the rest of my life.