narrator
10-18-2002, 09:11 AM
It was so much easier when we didn’t have to deal with it.
I ordered the salad today. It tastes the same but still died in my mouth after the first bite. Everything’s the same. Why doesn’t anyone else acknowledge the absence? I stared at the passing cars seeing red. Why can’t I just get over it? Everyone else has.
Inside the house felt like déjà vu. If I cried I don’t know if I could ever stop. Time has passed so fast but I haven’t taken one step forward. Everything is just passing by.
Two to three times a day I remember. I’m afraid. Mourning is a part of the healing process, right? Tomorrow I will feel better. I have to.
Or is it that people haven’t got the compassion. I know I wouldn’t have given it a second thought a year ago. The sad part is, I don’t want to get better.
Thirty seconds past six, April sixteenth. Thinking about it won’t make it change but you can’t stop really. Not when it was so close. We were so close. I was close. I was across the street. I watched it.
Nobody has a clue. They console and empathize but I’m still there broken and falling apart. I think things would be different if Tom were still here.
I got used to Tom but he was ready for it. He knew what was coming and let it. I was sad but he told me there was nothing to be afraid of because I was here and that was all that mattered.
I look in at that empty room. Nobody told me about this.
He was ten years old.
It’s so much easier when you don’t have to deal with it.
I ordered the salad today. It tastes the same but still died in my mouth after the first bite. Everything’s the same. Why doesn’t anyone else acknowledge the absence? I stared at the passing cars seeing red. Why can’t I just get over it? Everyone else has.
Inside the house felt like déjà vu. If I cried I don’t know if I could ever stop. Time has passed so fast but I haven’t taken one step forward. Everything is just passing by.
Two to three times a day I remember. I’m afraid. Mourning is a part of the healing process, right? Tomorrow I will feel better. I have to.
Or is it that people haven’t got the compassion. I know I wouldn’t have given it a second thought a year ago. The sad part is, I don’t want to get better.
Thirty seconds past six, April sixteenth. Thinking about it won’t make it change but you can’t stop really. Not when it was so close. We were so close. I was close. I was across the street. I watched it.
Nobody has a clue. They console and empathize but I’m still there broken and falling apart. I think things would be different if Tom were still here.
I got used to Tom but he was ready for it. He knew what was coming and let it. I was sad but he told me there was nothing to be afraid of because I was here and that was all that mattered.
I look in at that empty room. Nobody told me about this.
He was ten years old.
It’s so much easier when you don’t have to deal with it.