How Do I Tell Him I Need A Break?

[kind_heart]

Hello Everyone

I just wanted to say hi to everyone and see that
everyone is doing okay. Secondly, I would like to get some advice from all of you here. Okay so like I had talked about awhile back being that I'm a virgin all my boyfriend's previous sexual experiences have made me very insecure to the point that I've thought he should be better off with a girl who could put out. I say this b/c I feel like a bad GF for not having sex with him like he did with his previous gfs. He's never pressured me or compared me and respects my decision. This hurts and frustrates me b/c I don't know why I continue to be so insecure and withdrawn from him. So I wanted to know how to bring up the subject of maybe taking a break from the relationship.

Now the tricky thing is, is that I've never really told him my fears so I don't know how he'll react to my reasons which are that I need time to get myself together. While we are on this break, I would like him to date others. I know sounds crazy, but I figure it's better than him waiting for me.
Any ideas, advice? I've been crying about this lately but I know I have to get out and clear my head for awhile. you know like relearning to love myself first before letting someone into my life. In additon to placing more faith into what seems to be a very healthy relationship.

[Nightwind Hawk]

Hi- I'm assuming you're a girl, right? Your gender by your name says you aren't :P

I don't really have any advice... but here's a tip: Do not even read the rest of the comments unless they are by girls.

[Heather Lovelace]

Wait. If your boyfriend loves you? Why would he want to be seeing anyone else? If you let him see anyone else, your taking the risk of losing him. If he gets close to someone else, he'll be stuck in a tough decision of making a choice. You or whoever else... I think the person he'd be dating.. and that person might be looking for a long-term relationship or watever, will then feel used. I dunno.

[Rinoa]

I say talk to him, tell him your scared, don't run off immediatly cause that's what your doing here, your scared and thinks running away is the best option. Well it's not. Talking to him will help. Ever thought of starting slow? just cuddling and kissing and all and then if you feel comfortable with that that a step further, just do what you can handle.
Once again, the break up is a bad idea, he loves you and is willing to wait, then take the time to get used to it girl, your a fool if you let him go!

[PunkyMalone]

Originally posted by Razor Blade Kiss@Jul 8 2004, 04:36 PM
Wait. If your boyfriend loves you? Why would he want to be seeing anyone else? If you let him see anyone else, your taking the risk of losing him. If he gets close to someone else, he'll be stuck in a tough decision of making a choice. You or whoever else... I think the person he'd be dating.. and that person might be looking for a long-term relationship or watever, will then feel used. I dunno.
I don't think it's a matter of "letting" him date other girls. If you break up with him, or go 'on a break' then you really can't control what he does. It's not fair to HIM to say 'I don't want to be with you right now, but I don't want you to be with anyone else.'

But if he has never pressured you to have sex with him, it means he loves and respects you (or he's getting it somewhere else, but I doubt that) and that he will most likely support you through whatever it is you need to figure out, if you just keep him close. Right now it seems like you're pushing him away and that is what's gonna chase him off to another girl.

[Da Boggsta]

You need to stop the insecurity right now! He obviously respects you otherwise he would have long gone by now if all he wanted was to get you in bed! Why push a guy like that away? Do you love him? If there is no spark then ur right, its not worth it.

What i think ur getting at is this: You wont sleep with the guy, and your worried he wants sex? So the ideal situation is if u have a break, he goes and gets some therefore be happy and u two get back together untill your ready? Am i right?

Well girl if that is the case then its all wrong.

You need to wake up to the fact your onto a good thing here and why ruin it? Why take the risk? I think you need to have a long hard talk with him to find out exactly where this relationship will lead, exactly what he thinks about it. You never know he might totally understand and help you overcome your insecurity :)

[AvRiL_rOx66]

tell him that you've been f*cking somebody else for the past few months or say I HATE YOU! and run away

[TelescopeEyes]

^ Yea.. uh that one always works.

[Heather Lovelace]

Great idea AvRiL_rOx66, Reeeal smooth...

[Dont take her advice]

[Death in a Bottle]

Try this: "I need a break."

[~Johno~]

Hey you make us men sound like where only out for 1 thing... geeez

[Death in a Bottle]

Aren't we?

[~Johno~]

chuckle... probably... probably.

[gone_country]

I'm confused. You want your bf to sleep with other girls because you're scared of sleeping with him?

[Artemis]

Originally posted by ~Johno~@Jul 11 2004, 10:58 PM
Hey you make us men sound like where only out for 1 thing... geeez
Do you even need to say that?

Mal, I don't think that's what she meant.

Anyways, I wouldn't suggest going on a "break." Like people have said, that may end up in you losing him, and if you really love him, you wouldn't let that happen. It's always difficult to tell someone how you feel, especially ones you love, in most cases that is. I think you should work up the courage to tell him your insecurities, and if he really loves you, he'd understand and be with you every step of the way no matter what.

[al_Lou<<]

tell him the real situation he'll get it! just be nice with him and tell him what's going on! :)