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November raiN
07-13-2004, 05:52 PM
Axl Rose To Run For President


W Axl Rose, frontman with the popular rock act Axl Rose Presents Guns And Roses, is to be the first glam-metal superstar to run for the presidency since Franklin D Roosevelt.

Rose issued a statement earlier today;

"Anybody who followed my work will see that this has been on the cards for at least 65 days or so. Certainly a month or two. You might notice that the name of the upcoming release by my band is titled The Chinese Democracy. This is a hint to my future career, since Democracy is widely associated with politics."

Filmmaker Michael Moore was on hand to run around with a boom mike and camera, and also some people who were injured at Guns And Roses concerts.

Moore was openly vocal in his lack of support for Rose's campaign. "I couldn't be any more lacking in my support if I set fire to my head and then screamed, all because I disagree", said Moore.

Others, however, have offered the clammy hand of friendship to the aspiring president. Gene Simmons, star of Trick Or Treat, had this to say;

"What America needs is a president who isn't afraid to say "f*ck" over and over. Whatever your opinions on the war, abortion, other political topics, you can't deny that W Axl Rose is a man who says "f*ck" over and over, sometimes with other swearwords in between."

In a televised debate, Rose was attacked by Vice President Al Gore for the inadequacies of his facial cosmetics.

"If I were you", said Gore, "I would be more worried about how fat you've gotten all of a sudden, instead of the world trade deficit."

W Axl Rose, displaying charisma beyond his girth, stated "f*ck yourself, Gore, you son of a b*tch."

The founding fathers are said to be "highly deceased" by the developments.






ROFLMAO

Sydney Starlet
07-14-2004, 03:24 AM
Wow... way to make a first impression for the campaign. That Gene Simmons guy sounds like an intelligent one.

Death in a Bottle
07-14-2004, 03:53 AM
For those who didn't realize it (*cough* above post) That was a joke.

PunkyMalone
07-14-2004, 12:09 PM
Originally posted by Sydney Starlet@Jul 14 2004, 08:24 AM
Wow... way to make a first impression for the campaign. That Gene Simmons guy sounds like an intelligent one.
:blink:

that would be funny, if it were sarcasm with the understanding that the article was a joke. but i just don't think it was.

your first clue should've been how poorly written the article was. ;)

Leo Van Newhouse
07-16-2004, 01:27 PM
He would probably do something cliche and legalize prostitution...I mean, that would make my county un original. How are we supposed to get rich then?!?

Sydney Starlet
07-16-2004, 11:56 PM
Oh God. I'm an idiot.

November raiN
07-17-2004, 06:42 AM
hahaha d0h its a joke but anyway ...

Leo Van Newhouse
07-17-2004, 10:53 AM
Originally posted by Sydney Starlet@Jul 16 2004, 11:56 PM
Oh God. I'm an idiot.
No kiddin'...

Nirvana
07-17-2004, 12:26 PM
hahah hed probably legalize heroin too!..welcome to the jungle...damn now i have that song stuck in my head... *superman mucsic comes on* too the lobby! *in spuerhero voice*

Leo Van Newhouse
07-17-2004, 12:27 PM
Someone clearly needs a hug...

Nirvana
07-17-2004, 12:47 PM
*is flying* ha leo.....

Leo Van Newhouse
07-17-2004, 01:23 PM
HA! Lindsay.

myhappyending
07-28-2004, 06:52 AM
I love the original GNR, but no. Scary.

~naked around u~
07-30-2004, 02:13 AM
lmfao :) :) he has my vote :P :P :P

myhappyending
07-30-2004, 09:52 PM
NEVER!!!!!! that's... uh... disturbing. even though gnr rocks.

Leo Van Newhouse
07-31-2004, 09:10 AM
There is no Guns N' Roses.

myhappyending
07-31-2004, 09:10 PM
there is no guns n roses... what's your point? there WAS.

November raiN
08-01-2004, 06:51 PM
DO YOU KNOW WHERE THE f*ck YOU ARE ?!?!?!?!?!?!?! YOUR IN THE JUNGLE BABY !!!!! WAKE UP !!!!!!! TIME TO DIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEeeeEEEEEEEEEEE EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE YEAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

Heather Lovelace
08-01-2004, 07:00 PM
Ehum..

myhappyending
08-01-2004, 07:38 PM
yeah. welcome to jungle. :)