Tart's me!!

[DearestHelpless]

An ant just crawled down my face.

[Artemis]

Tarts me why that would happen!

[DearestHelpless]

I think it's a result of your actions. Laziness gets you nowhere, Megan.

[Artemis]

I must say, I'm totally confused. Explain yourself.

[DearestHelpless]

The Dr. Pepper.

[Artemis]

But I finally ended up getting it.

[DearestHelpless]

Only because I inspired you to do so.

[Artemis]

I was going to say that. Great minds think alike...me having the greater mind of course.

[DearestHelpless]

No, I don't think so.

[Artemis]

Please? Please may I have the greater mind?

[DearestHelpless]

No. You cannot always have what you want. Who's the one that had a sand car?

That's right.

[Artemis]

I'll pour water all over that sand car.

I always get what I want, Laurne. I have the greater mind. There.

[DearestHelpless]

I'll put cyanide in your Dr. Pepper. Then there wont be two minds. Just mine. The greatest of all.

[Artemis]

I'll pour acid in your eyes. Don't touch my Dr. Pepper, Laurne. That's not very nice.

[DearestHelpless]

Don't touch my eyes! My aunt will kill you.

[Artemis]

My eyes are better. I can touch your eyes if I want.

[DearestHelpless]

I agree. You do have very pretty eyes, but still...

You'll be poisoned before you get to touch mine.

[Artemis]

Aww, thank you!

You can't poison me. You'd be sad.

[DearestHelpless]

If that's what you want to think...

[Artemis]

You're very mean.

[DearestHelpless]

Did we not discuss this earlier? I'm very nice.

[Artemis]

That's my eye, Laurne. That's my eye.

[DearestHelpless]

...

Stop rubbing it in that your eyes are prettier than mine. You stupid bitch.

[Artemis]

I'm highly amused with what you just said.

I'm not rubbing anything in! Name calling won't get you anywhere in life.

[DearestHelpless]

It's making me feel better so, yes, I think it will.

[Artemis]

I enjoy being vain every once in a while.

[DearestHelpless]

Once in a while? Ha.

Anyways, on to more important things...

So, I like the taste of Diet Coke more than I like the taste of regular Coke, but I like the taste of regular Pepsi more than the taste of Diet Pepsi, but I don't know if I like Diet Coke or regular Pepsi more. What do I do?

[Artemis]

Don't ha me.

Well, okay. Get a can of Diet Coke. Get a can of regular Pepsi. Open them both. Take a drink of Diet Coke...then spend like five seconds on the taste, then take a drink of the Pepsi, and spend five seconds on the taste. This might take a couple of tries to find out which you like best.

[DearestHelpless]

Did I mention that I like regular Coke more than Diet Pepsi?

[Artemis]

You're so complicated.

[DearestHelpless]

But I like tea more than all of that stuff. Tea's the best. And coffee. And orange juice...and grape, and apple juice. Oh, yes!

[Artemis]

Tea..any type..is fucking disgusting. That goes along with coffee. I'm fond of apple juice and hot chocolate. And occasionally orange juice.

[DearestHelpless]

Oh, okay. Tomorrow.

[DearestHelpless]

Who's missing me? I'm getting mind calls.

Come on, step up. I'm here now.

[Artemis]

Laurne, this is an exclusive thread. VIP only.

[DearestHelpless]

I know...

It was supposed to be you who responded, but then you went to bed...

I'm a VIP.

[Artemis]

Heck yes you are.

[DearestHelpless]

Megan, I am the VIP. With you, of course.

[Death in a Bottle]

Would it be mean of me to post in a thread with three pages of just you two?

Oops, too late.

[DearestHelpless]

Who made you VIP? It sure as hell wasn't me, and Megan can't make you VIP.

[Death in a Bottle]

I don't know, but apparently I became one. Because I'm posting here.

[DearestHelpless]

No. You have to ask me. So...

Ask me. And it better be really good.

[Death in a Bottle]

What are you going to do if I don't ask you?

[Artemis]

Um, excuse me bitch. I'm the one who came up with tarts me. You just created the thread.

[DearestHelpless]

No. I said "taht's me" and you said you thought I said "tart's me" and so I made it.

I've claimed Taylor's rights. Claim someone else's, okay?

Taylor, ask.

[Artemis]

I don't want to claim anyone else's rights. That's stupid. And Laurne, you basically just repeated what I had said.

[DearestHelpless]

But without me, you wouldn't have misread it that way.

I still have his rights.

[Artemis]

Did I say I wanted them? No, didn't think so.

Without me, you wouldn't have this thread.

[DearestHelpless]

And without me, you wouldn't have the phrase.

[Artemis]

I really hate you.

[DearestHelpless]

No, you don't. You don't know what you'd do without me. Your spring break wouldn't have been fun without me, remember?

[Death in a Bottle]

Wait, I don't recall ever putting my rights up to be claimed. And I want a vote in who my rights go to. Whatever these so-called "rights" are.

[Artemis]

I was using sarcasm when I answered you.

[DearestHelpless]

We are the VIPs here, Taylor. You can't just BE a VIP.

[Death in a Bottle]

Still, I want a say in my rights-claiming process.

[DearestHelpless]

Okay. Say it.

[Artemis]

We almost had a me and you thread, Laurne. Almost.

[Death in a Bottle]

Hold on. I don't even know what rights are being claimed.

Yeah, Megan. Like I'd let that happen.

[DearestHelpless]

Do you have to be included in everything?

I hope you don't think this is going to get you a hmph.

[Death in a Bottle]

I just wanted to ruin your guys' thread. Now that I've done that, I can leave if that'd make you happy.

[DearestHelpless]

I hate you.

[Artemis]

Such harsh words, Laurne.

You may stay if you'd like now...

[DearestHelpless]

No, he can't have permission.

And they were harsh, but I meant them.

[Death in a Bottle]

You didn't mean them.

[DearestHelpless]

Maybe I did. How would you know?

[Artemis]

Laurne, you can't just decide that.

[Death in a Bottle]

Because you've probably said it hundreds of times since I've been talking to you, and I seriously doubt you've meant it even once.

[DearestHelpless]

You don't have a say in it, Megan. I can at least try.

And that's not good enough.

[Death in a Bottle]

Why not? I think if you've said it a hundred times and ahven't meant it, the odds are that I'm right.

[DearestHelpless]

But you don't know for sure.

[Artemis]

I think you need to step down, Laurne. You don't have a say in it.

[DearestHelpless]

I do too, Megan...

[Artemis]

No you don't, Laurne...

[DearestHelpless]

It's not fair.

[Death in a Bottle]

Why Can't We Stop All The Fighting?!?!

[DearestHelpless]

Is that a song?

[Artemis]

Okay okay. You can have half, and I'll have half.

[DearestHelpless]

Whoa, whoa. What are you talking about?

[Artemis]

Absolutely nothing.

[DearestHelpless]

No. I want to know.

[Artemis]

I'm being serious, I wasn't talking about anything. It just caught your attention.

[DearestHelpless]

You would do something like that.

[Death in a Bottle]

Is that a song?

No, that's what happens when you put something in all caps on AS. I forgot about that.

[Artemis]

You would do something like that.


Damn straight.

[DearestHelpless]

Oh...

I thought you were capitalizing it because it was a song. I put some thought into it, can you tell?

[DearestHelpless]

You're the reason for the ruin of this thread.

[Death in a Bottle]

I am not. You guys could've kept posting.

[DearestHelpless]

But it was just for me and Megan! Not you. You ruined it.

[Death in a Bottle]

That was the whole point of me posting.

[DearestHelpless]

I know, but it was not nice! I wanted it to just be me and Megan.

[Death in a Bottle]

Too bad. Try again, and maybe I won't ruin it this time.

[DearestHelpless]

No. It's not fun anymore.

[Death in a Bottle]

Well I mean in a new thread.

[DearestHelpless]

I know what you meant.

[Death in a Bottle]

Why would it not be fun anymore?

[DearestHelpless]

Change the subject. This is a boring spam topic.

[Death in a Bottle]

That's true. But I don't know what else to spam about.

[DearestHelpless]

I'm freezing cold.

[Death in a Bottle]

Put on some pants.

[DearestHelpless]

No. I don't want to. Would you like to see my nipples through my shirt?

[Death in a Bottle]

You know I do.

[DearestHelpless]

lol Figures. Too bad.