a poem

[luckyducky]

so has she taken my place,
id like to look her in the face,
tell her bout our past,
tell her how long it should have last,
just date her so youll be happy,
and stop feeling crappy,
i want you to forget bout me,
and i want u to see,
i was wrong,
how much longer must i go on,
i dont want you to hurt because of me
im not worth the pain and everntually you will see,
fuck ups should never be in ur life,
and i know now ull never be in my life,
someone will soon take that place,
and i wont be here to look them in the face,
if i chose to pick up that gun,
and not run
dont think it was ur fault,
all my emotions bottled up in a vault,
dont think bout me again,
because itheres nothing more to lend
i know ill die before im 25,
ya everytime i think bout that i take a deep sigh,
but if u decide to remeber me,
remeber the old me i use to be,
its my time to go,
life goes by so slow,
im sorry bout everything i did wrong,
and that i was never there and always gone,
my love has always been there for u,
and i think u knew too,
so to save ur self from being hurt,
i need to walk away,
and u need to stay,
from now on things wont be so wrong,
because ill always be gone

ya its sad but thats how i was feeling last nite so tell me what ya think? :X

[Tiffanie]

awww grrl i totally hear where your comming from and i love this poem..it shows your true feelings and i love that to pieces..thats what makes a great poem to me

[luckyducky]

aww thanks and i need to start naming my poems lol :P

[Tiffanie]

haha dont worry i have trouble with titles to...i hate trying to put a name to em

[Unplanned_Childhood]

I'd like to see some gangster rhymes, I am growing weary of the suicide notes and orthodox apostasy.

[Tiffanie]

well then write some

[Unplanned_Childhood]

You think I'm playin' just for some respect.
Step back, I ain't no reject.
I'll fuck this shit up with my ten dollar words.
And break your shit down to one insensitive verb.
You wanna mess with me,
Then you'll see.
What I can do to you,
And that's more than you ever knew.

How's that for my first try and two minutes?

[fooeleven]

luckyducky your poem is good
Unplanned_Childhood your poem i bad
that's the difference

[Unplanned_Childhood]

It was a joke, prick. I never meant it to be good. And I would just like to point out a few things. This is a sentence starting with a capital letter and ending in a period. That is the difference.

[Tiffanie]

thats what pretty cool actually

[Unplanned_Childhood]

I've become so accustomed, I hardly no how to respond to praise instead of an insult.

[ocean]

luckyducky...i like .....
and unplanned...if you can come up with something like this i such a short time...than you should consider writing a bit more!